In the midst of living our “everyday” lives, we received some devastating news about Baby E a little more than a month ago. There was an issue with his paperwork that neither we nor or agency could handle & we were at a complete stand still until the issue was rectified.
My heart felt as though it might shatter inside my chest. I wondered what God was doing, but have thankfully, walked with Him long enough to know that whatever He was doing would work out for our good and to His glory.
That doesn’t mean that it felt good, though. It also doesn’t mean that I didn’t throw my hands up every now & again and remind God how much this hurt.
The time seemed to simultaneously crawl and fly by. We went on our scheduled family trip to DisneyWorld and every time one of our reservations questioned “2 children, not 3?” I felt as if my heart shattered all over again.
The absolute hardest (and probably silliest) part was walking through Africa in Disney’s Animal Kingdom. As I saw the sign and the sights, my heart ached to have our son. I cried before I walked through the gate into Africa and spent most of the time there crying and praying for my son.
I don’t always understand why God does things. And I would never claim to. But one thing I have come to know and love about my relationship with Christ is this: He is always working behind the scenes in places I can not see.
I don’t understand what the delay has been, but I do know this: it has brought out a determination in Dustin & I that I didn’t realize was there. It has also shown our complete unity in this Journey to Baby E.
Through our adoption process, I have seen a change in Arianna. She thinks about Africa, has a desire to learn all she can about it and prays beautiful, sincere prayers for her missing brother. She is also a bit timid by nature but will tell random people we run into (think Subway, Walmart or Target) that we will really a family of 3 children because we need to get her missing brother. Trust me, there is no easy way to walk away after that, I need to assure them that he isn’t in the car or kidnapped but rather we are in the midst of an adoption process! (Yes, I’m working on her wording) 😉
I fully understand that she is only 5 and it will still be an adjustment once he gets here but I know that God has softened our hearts for Elijah and we trust Him to walk us through the difficulty as well as the ease. He is a God who can handle it all, after all!
Oh and the paperwork issue? Well, lets just say I know Somebody who moves mountains. We finally have our paperwork! It needs to be corrected but praise God, it will be submitted shortly so we can finally get a court date!
This journey of adoption has been such an adventure. It seems as though I can find lessons in every moment of it, if I look hard enough!
Have you ever considered adoption? If so, I would love to talk to you about it.