Before I became a “WIM” (woman in ministry); a Pastor’s wife, in my case, I came face to face with the fact that I was a closet people pleaser.
You would never have known that from my high school or college days because I was, in fact, quite rebellious. As God began to make himself known to me and chip away at some of my misconceptions, He also began revealing things about myself.
On one such occasion it was this very real desire to be accepted, but more than just being accepted, I wanted someone to be proud of me. Have you ever been there? Have you ever felt like you are doing “the right” things and no one is noticing?
I want you to know that wanting someone to notice isn’t necessarily wrong as long as that isn’t the motivation behind why you are doing whatever you are doing. The thing is we so often get caught up in fighting for recognition from people that they were never meant to give. If you are feeling unfulfilled because you aren’t being recognized in your marriage or a friendship then maybe you are placing your sense of worth in that person. And, girlfriend, you will never feel content as long as your sense of self worth is in the hands of another human being.
I cringe every time someone says “so & so completes me” or “I would be nowhere without Blah Blah Blah” because that is setting that person up to take a very long fall off the very high pedestal that they were never meant to be up on.
Of course, I’m not saying treat your spouse or friends like crap but I want to remind you the way God intended our hearts to be. He intends for us to be completely content and whole when He holds them.
Remember the desire for acceptance I spoke of earlier? It turns out that desire wasn’t wrong in and of itself but desiring it from others was. You see, God desires to be in the kind of relationship with me where He can tell me how proud of me He is (and lovingly tell me when I’ve missed the mark). And He never misses an opportunity to lavish His genuine love on me.
I don’t need to go anywhere else for the recognition that only He can give. And really, why would I want to?