I’ve learned so much about God and my relationship with Him during this adoption process. It was such a beautiful picture of redemption and love even when the road was hard.
We’ve been home for almost 5 weeks now and I should have guessed that the lessons wouldn’t stop once Elijah came home. In fact, I could easily say they became more intense.
I’ve been asked (several times) and reminded (in moments of complaint or explanation) that I “chose” this. I’m not certain why I was asked about choosing Elijah or if that was somehow supposed to make me realize that it wasn’t that hard, but it did neither in the moment.
However, the truth remains that we did choose him, although God chose him first. And the truth is that it’s been messy and exhausting and harder than anything I could have prepared for. The nights have been longer, the days have been full of tears and there have been times when I’ve wondered what the heck I was thinking. (Hey, I’m nothing if not honest).
And yet none of that compares to the fact that I love my son. I chose him, I went all the way to Ethiopia to bring him home and we are blessed to have him as a part of our family. My daughters will be better human beings because they get the gift of loving him. I am a better human being because adoption has a way of forcing you to confront your ugly and work through it. Our marriage is somehow stronger for this and our lives are positively impacted in ways I could have never imagined.
And I’m so glad that when I cry, or scream or am broken that God doesn’t give up on me. Love is a choice and that knowledge just will not let me go.
So let’s kick up our heels and celebrate the love we’ve chosen and the LOVE that has chosen us…